Anonymous

11/12/2017 § Leave a comment

“You’re going to meet someone who invests in you and wholeheartedly cares. You’re going to meet some who is attentive to your needs and wants. You’re going to meet someone who is so clear and bold with their love you will never have to question how they feel about you.” —Anonymous

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Marriage

08/15/2017 § 4 Comments

“It’s two broken people coming together to follow God’s calling on their lives.” —John Mark Comer

“If he isn’t doing anything with his life that matters for God’s kingdom, how will you partner with him?” —John Mark Comer

“Don’t get married because you think he or she is “the one.” Trust me, they’re not. There’s no such thing! But do get married when you see who God is making somebody to be, and it lights you up.” —John Mark Comer

As you might have observed, I like learning from JMC.

On this post, I like to write about my current thoughts about… *drumroll please*

Boom:MARRYING SOMEONE.

Yep. It’s gonna get deep, you know…
TYING THE KNOT, WALKING DOWN THE AISLE, TAKING THE PLUNGE, BEING WED AND GETTING MARRIED TO THE “LOVE OF YOUR LIFE.”

And by this, I will also be making mention of/making some remarks about committing yourself in a romantic relationship. Dating (might be), included.

*******
Concept: Me, 5 years from now (august 2022), living in a simple yet pretty house with my husband, sipping a hot cappuccino on a rainy autumn afternoon. Our dog curls up next to us in the window bench or a comfy sofa while, perhaps, watching a netflix series. We’re financially stable and we’re really looking forward to having babies…

LOL. :)
*******

Marriage.

Marriage doesn’t scare me.

Oh, absolutely not.

But,

…marrying the wrong person does.

Let me repeat that. As a single, about-to-turn-24, career-oriented woman, I hope you believe me when I say that marriage doesn’t scare me at all. But marrying the wrong man really does.

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“I hope you attract someone who appreciates you in your entirety. I hope you’re able to dodge those that see you as a temporary blanket.” —Billy Chapata

Hey no offense but why am I pretty bad at finding and actually forming stable, meaningful, healthy relationships with a person whom I can be romantically involved with? Do you sometimes ask the same thing too?

Opening your heart to someone isn’t always the easiest thing to do;
but giving your heart to someone is about a million times harder.

Growing up, I wish that I could make myself realize that this heart is also worthy of being loved. That it could express their affection for someone it meant to be with. That this heart should be confident enough about allowing the other person to be part of its world…

I’ve built up my four walls and it took a while to knock them down. IT WAS SCARY.

Have you ever experienced that?

Thank God, I grew more. I matured. I prayed. I changed. And I learned a whole lot.

Almost all of the best opportunities in life will involve risk—the very possibility of rejection, embarrassment, or failure… It took me some courage. Faith has taught me to let go of my fears and live intentionally and embrace the thrill of jumping into the unknown.

I know that:
Good things take time…

But I also know that:
Great things don’t come from staying in your comfort zone. :)

I realized and understood that my choices matter—and it made me think about how most things and attempts and actions I take now will affect me in 5 years! Thus I should start preparing for my future… right now!

Don’t get me wrong: Romantic love isn’t something that can be rushed, and it is certainly not a requirement for happiness.

But I’ve been thinking about love lately.

You know…

The romantic, heading-to-wedding kind of love.

To be perfectly frank: This desire has made me crave intimacy with Jesus more and brought me so much closer to Him. I feel like starting this year, one of my practical wishes is to give that love soon, and hopefully one day I’ll receive the same love I deserve. But meanwhile, praying and waiting and serving and working (and enjoying life still) are all I have.

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I care a lot about these kinds of things and it’s kinda my thing.

*******
“If you can love the wrong one so much, just imagine how much you can love the right one.” — Comment on a Humans Of New York post
*******

I date.

Yup, I do.

I try to say yes when an “eligible guy” (charot!) asks me for a date and we go out.

(Sobrang honest, noh? Sana makatulong ang post na ito sa mga young girls.)

But not one thing ever worked.

Nope… Not yet. So far.

Doesn’t mean they’re terrible—no, not at all. It simply means they’re not right… for me.

Again, don’t get me wrong please: I’m not into wasting people’s time. ESPECIALLY MINE. I will never get into a relationship knowing I won’t bring anything to it. I want to add, not subtract.

However, I think it’s okay to date as long as it’s within healthy boundaries.

Sure, a date could lead to a life-long and serious commitment… But one friendly date with someone who’s genuinely interested with you wouldn’t mean planning about marriage right away! That happens though, smh—but for the rest of us, ordinary and regular human beings, one time spent together sipping nice drinks like coffee while having a good conversation won’t hurt to give a chance. So, don’t freak out!

Anyway!

(If you’re getting serious in a dating relationship, you should seriously consider my candid piece of writing.)

Everyone deserves a romantic relationship that enables us to sleep peacefully at night and makes you instantly want to mention him or her to your parents with all confidence and pride (I also recalled 1 John 4.8 with this!)… But none of them made me feel that way. I felt sorry.

It was exhausting. It was complicated. It was lonely.

My prayer for myself is the same as my prayer to other single ladies out there: I hope you fall in love with someone who never stops choosing you… I hope you have that certain inner peace and satisfaction everytime you think about spending forever with him… I hope you feel at home when you look at them.

But if you found someone who loves God more than anything, who enhances your life, encourages you, loves you, serves with you, and wants to grow with you, KEEP THEM. Congratulations.

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THAT,

is the very thing I am praying for. #GOALS

Before,
my prayer is that
“God, prepare him for me…”

But then, He corrected me.
So I started praying—simply and sincerely:
God? Prepare me for him.”

Many aspects in my life has changed ever since.

Not joking.

Contrary to popular belief: Changing your relationship status won’t change you. This is important to remember if you’re wanting to get married in the future. Improve your habits, lifestyle, choices, and attitude starting TODAY.

Prior to this, I was praying for a man with certain qualities… Yup, I sure had a list. (I mean, like most girls have, right?!?)

image1 copy

Like, someone with eyeglasses,
someone who can cook well,
someone who has the same playlist as mine,
someone who has a good sense of humour,
someone who has facial hair,
good sense of fashion,
much taller than me,
adventurous,
and sweet.

(basically, someone like erwan haha)

(but wait! there’s more)

…Someone who’s God-fearing,
kind to people, compassionate,
a gentleman, and a family-man.

OOOOH.

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(I KNOW I KNOW. Saka wala naman masama mangarap diba? Lol.)

But then! Everytime, I would always say,
“BUT HEY, DAD? LET YOUR WILL BE DONE, MY GOD.”

I WANT WHAT HE WANTS. WHO HE WANTS. WHAT KIND OF MAN HE WANTS. FOR ME.

So you should already know by now, that when you pray, our will and wants and wishes must be inclined on His—and NOT the other way around.

So I continued to pray.

For days. For weeks. For months, now.

Two—to be exact. (June, July, then now August.)

Two months! For more than ten weeks I prayed that prayer.

At!—sa totoo lang, iba yung nangyari sa inaakala ko.

Yung totoo ha?

Ako yung nabago.

Hindi na ako nag-focus sa ideal man or setup na akala ko gusto ko… I started focusing on allowing God to make myself the best Proverbs 31-woman my future partner can have.

And can I just emphasize this please?

I have learned (quite the hard way) that spiritual compatibility is really of utmost importance. Not just emotional (if you’re both mature and ready already), not just physical (if you guys have that attraction or the so-called “spark”), and financial (if you both can pay for each others’ date expenses and gifts and whatnots!).

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For me, I would describe a beautiful, healthy, godly blooming romance like this:

It’s as if I was running in a race or track—and I was doing so at a certain pace. And the guys I was dating in the past, it felt like either they were on the bleachers, or they’re just about to be getting on that track reluctantly, or they were way behind me and I was yelling, “cooome on, catch uuuup!!!” Something like that.

I did not have any kind of peace whatsoever.

It’s the same thing for those who are openly showing interest or asking if they could initiate courtship.

My heart did not have any peace. And I’m now sure that this is a practical telltale, revelatory sign…

I want to meet (and be with) a man who is also RUNNING.
Someone who is even SPRINTING the marathon Jesus set for him.
That when it came to his walk with God, I could tell this man is going places.
That feeling, that thought, that conviction of “I wanna be on the same pace as him.”
See, there’s a difference between this “God-given lover” and those other guys in the past.

And I’m sure that I don’t want to pass up the rare opportunities we will have when we’re together.

With that speed and intensity and passion? I don’t want to miss what this guy is doing—and, I want to help change the world with him.

So I pray for a man whom I can tell that he’s wanting to achieve that same mission and purpose, too.

Therefore, this is simply what He impressed to my heart.

 Pwede bang mabanggit ko lang? :)

  1. Spiritually mature Christian/JIL/Disciple/Loves Jesus more than anyone in the world
  2. Taller than me (request ng parents, lol! pati narin si ako syempre, hihi)
  3. May “sparks” kami (kumbaga, we could be together. Interested kami sa isa’t isa ganern)
  4. Boto yung parents ko sa kanya :) (And vice versa. Ayaw kong problema namin ang in-laws! Haha.)

 Yun lang. Yun na ‘yon. :)

The best thing about it, this time, is I have peace. Wala akong reklamo. Wala akong tanong. Alam ko lang sa sarili ko na pinagtitiwalaan ko ang Diyos… Ang simple, pero alam ko na hindi basta-basta.

All I’m sure is my God-given lover is a better, better version of what I used to love/like/look for.

*******

Again, SPIRITUAL COMPATIBILITY PLAYS A BIG PART…

Especially that I wanted to protect my calling—I committed myself to do so, no matter what. And my future starts now. I don’t plan to jeopardize it by being with someone who’s not running the same race as mine. This is because I understood that this God-given calling will not just affect me, but the people around me (whom I serve, whom I love, whom I try to inspire)…

Dear Youth/You, I encourage you to do and be the same.

Stop wasting time. Don’t feel guilty for walking away from a toxic relationship. This will save you years and years of heartache.

*******

Wow.

That has got to be the kind of partnership that God wants for a marriage—and it IS powerful.

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It’s not just love and romance, which is a part of it of course. But it’s also about advancing the Kingdom of God together, as two warriors side by side in a fight for the fulfillment of both of their calling—individual and collective.

I want us to be the couple the next generation would look up to; also the kind we probably needed when we were younger.

*******

Back to this part of marriage.

Many people will tell you that marriage is hard, and they are right.

I haven’t been married (obviously) but I have a certain knack for observing the way things actually are.

…My own parents, my grandparents, my other family members who are married (or my cousins who had partners), my friends, my leaders, people on reality TV show (charot), etc.—I’ve quietly but steadily watch them all.

My unsolicited piece of advice when you want to get serious in dating (that will result to a marriage) is have a relationship that’s mature enough to sit down, discuss issues, and be like “darling, look this is our problem and this is how we’re gonna fix it.” SIMPLE. I rarely see this with most young couples.

Sometimes, you won’t see this at chick flicks and romcoms.

But the truth is: Love is constant forgiveness.

The thing is, marriage is hard because life is hard. Stressful situations like money matters and health problems and family issues and discouragement and depression and loneliness are all hard, but holding hands in the car with your God-given partner and going to sleep every night next to your best friend is not.

Since we’ve come to the realization that life is just going to be as difficult, this must be your mindset: Darling, with all these challenges, we can face the hard stuff together, head-on, as a team. #PARTNERSHIP

When you’re married, you work hard together, you are honest to each other, and ideally there must be no hidden resentment or anything left unsaid. You encourage each other and make room for the other to thrive.

Then by God’s grace all the hard stuff is made a whole lot possible to overcome with your God-given lover—who truly knows you and loves you—by your side.

One grandmother once told her granddaughter:

“Relationships are work, honey, and they aren’t 50/50. Some days when I get up I only feel like giving 10%, then your granddaddy has to give 90% that day. But there is always 100% love.” —Leigh Ann Lunsford

We should know what you’re getting into once we commit ourselves to a romantic relationship.

*******

Moreover!!! HERE ARE SOME CHOPSUEY PIECES OF ADVICE:

· Write him/her a letter. Send her flowers. Send him *insert whatever guys want lol*. Please never stop telling your partner please, thank you, or excuse me. No matter how long you’ve been together. Always be gentle and respectful. Love only gets old if you let it.

· Love also means you taking care of each other. Don’t confuse that with loving a toxic person and compromising your health and beliefs for their benefit.

· Thank God for the right connections and relationships in your life. Get Christlike, Spirit-filled, reliable mentors who will have a voice of wisdom into your relationship… Wise people who will surround the both of you to push and challenge and correct and encourage your partnership. Make sure you guys are around people that reflect who you want to be and how positively you want to feel. (This should include our parents!) Surround yourself with those who also help you look at the world differently.

· You don’t need someone to complete you. You both bring your 100% to the relationship. Being incomplete and diving into a relationship will later tear down your marriage.

· Imagine if you loved yourself in the same way you loved another person; not caring about the flaws in the body or inside the mind, seeing the virtues even bigger, supporting and taking care of the other. That would be a new level of self-esteem and another way to be perhaps indestructible.

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It’s one thing for someone to love you when  you’re happy… It’s another thing for someone to understand how to love you when you’re sad.

The most intimate thing we can do is to allow people we love most see us at our worst. At our lowest. At our weakest. True intimacy happens when nothing is perfect. —Amy Harmon, The Song of David

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*******

Anyway, I think I’m done! I’m so sorry for such a long post.

I feel like I have to finally put into writing “some” of the emotions and thoughts I have about love, dating, courtship, romantic relationships and marriage. It’s been a while, you know.

Not-so-fun fact: It took me 15 days to finally finish everything. I started last August 1—and today is August 15. I had so much trouble arranging everything and finding the right words to say. But. Even after all… God is good! Haha.

Though I think I have so much to say, I guess this would do. :)

Does all of this make sense? What would be your response regarding this? Feel free to comment below, okay?

Anyway. So if you think I got a sensible point about this whole marriage thing, tell me.

I might be ready…

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*******

“But do get married when you see who God is making somebody to be, and it lights you up. When you want to be part of that story of transformation. That journey to the future. When you are well aware it will be a long and bumpy ride, but you don’t want to miss one mile. Because you believe in God’s calling on them, and you want in.” — John Mark Comer

*******

For other single people out there! Hi! Welcome to the club! Always remember that God has not forgotten us!!! Here are some resources/”fun” stuff to read! Heehee.

https://finds.life.church/youre-single-waiting-marriage/

http://moralrevolution.com/7-verses-to-help-us-know-who-to-date/

https://therapeutically.wordpress.com/2010/07/23/i-make-happy-endings-god/

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Thanks for reading!

Love,
cha xx

Press Play July

07/31/2017 § 1 Comment

We will make this simple…

Basically? These are some nice tunes that will amped up your pre-marriage vibes… :)

Great for weddings!

1) PERFECT – Ed Sheeran
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1UQzJfsT2eo

2) THE ONE – Kodaline
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xLPGtQoRUbk

3) I LOVE YOU ALWAYS FOREVER – Betty Who
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KrJBlk8q8qc

4) YOU’RE THE ONE FOR ME – Great Good Fine Ok
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nKC3YI8VY18

5) REVELATOR EYES – The Paper Kites
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Fi4T-yR8tM

6) I WAS MADE FOR LOVING YOU – Tori Kelly
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dFD02LYcw4k

Enjoy!

Aaaand, if you’re engaged (or maybe that’s something that could be happening a year or two right now… CONGRATS! <3 Happy for you.)

Bonus:

HOW WOULD YOU FEEL – Ed Sheeran (who never fails to make at least one “wedding song” in all of his albums)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wY473jAptyw

Dear God-given lover,

07/26/2017 § Leave a comment

:)

hiiii. just wanted to say this real quick, heehee. one perk of dating me is that i’ll be your biggest supporter and number one fan like i will hype up everything you do because i love you and wanna see you succeed.

that’s all thx thx and take care.

Be seeing you soon. I love you.

Dear God-given lover,

07/08/2017 § 1 Comment

Hi, my future husband.

I want it to be you.

Be seeing you soon… I love you.

Basic

07/08/2017 § Leave a comment

Reminder:

If that thing—whether it’s a someone or a something—is drawing you closer to God, then “this thing” is definitely from God.

Otherwise, if this thing—whether it’s a someone or a something—is keeping you farther away from God, then “that thing” is definitely outside of the will of God.

BASIC.

Dear God-given lover,

07/01/2017 § Leave a comment

I’m not gonna give you up now.

Whoever you are… I don’t know you, just yet.

But I’m not gonna let go of God’s promises in our lives.

No matter how crazy this journey might be, or how extensive might our ‘waiting season’ be, or how confusing and uncertain the future might be—in His perfect timing—my strong and secure faith is that we will end up together.

That YOU, are exactly whom my Father—my King, my Boss, my Lord—has planned for me to be with.

And there in our relationship with Jesus may we find His wisdom, ask for His specific directions, and discover what He wants to say to both of us… Mistakes we can control will not have a way in us any longer, not anymore. In faith, in hope, in my desire, and in prayer—I’m not gonna give you up now.

I will never give us up.

Be seeing you soon. I love you.

Press Play June

06/28/2017 § 1 Comment

Usually, July is considered as “wedding-season”—it’s that time of the year that most girls will finally experience their/THE “big day”…

And since, that’s next month, I just thought why not that before that, the theme for this current series will be about heartache and breakups and stuff like that. *awkward silence*

Clever, right?

Perfect for rainy days! Haha. No.

I HONESTLY have no idea why I thought it was a good one, but ready or not here ya’ go!

1) Kathang Isip – Ben&Ben
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CHfUOJbwTUM

2) Unti-Unti – Up Dharma Down

3) Officially Missing You – Tamia

4) Dating Tayo & Hanggang Dito Na Lang/Kung Wala Ka – TJ Monterde

5) Still Feel Like Your Man – John Mayer
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SmYa7pYHU00

This is what I think:

06/08/2017 § Leave a comment

I think I am ready for warm winds at the beach, bright night skies, late-night swims, movies in the park, iced coffee, (but most especially) hot coffee, trips to the local market, fresh flowers in the kitchen, naps in the hammock, and you.

I think I am ready for you. x

Someday. Someone.

06/08/2017 § Leave a comment

I hope someday you’ll marry someone that encourages you to grow, makes you forget your problems, has a better playlist than yours, holds your hand in public, appreciates nature, likes to kiss, a great middle-of-the-night conversationalist, a dog-person, admires sunsets, and drives you crazy at the same time (in a good way).

I hope you find someone who’s a sweeter version of you. Someone who will give you a forehead kiss every morning. Someone who doesn’t shout on arguments. Someone who likes to dream with you and make them a reality—with you.

Someone who adores you. Truly loves you.

And I hope, someday, that
this someone, will also find you.

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  • I N T O T H E W O R L D //
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    Hi, I am Cha Hernandez

    life-learner, wayfarer, and Jesus' girlfriend

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