De-Pressed

05/10/2018 § Leave a comment

Ever since I became a City Councilor and sort of a public figure, that has been my story. “A young, female servant-leader who successfully won a tough and exhausting local election.” But many of them don’t know my previous story… That equally tough and exhausting (and looong) stage of my depression. During my teenage years. And this is alright for me. I understand and I’m not complaining—it’s because I had a new script, a better story. Doesn’t mean it’s not part of my journey, but I am so proud to say that I have finally overcame this super-pressing season of depression.

Yep. I had it. I experienced it. Big time. I suffered from it to the point wherein I want to end my life. Seriously. I know it may sound funny to others but certainly unbelievable to many. And that’s exactly the point. You wouldn’t think a 13-year old would say that. It will always seem unimaginable to someone—even to yourself. At first you don’t really know why you have it. You’re not sure why you feel it. You won’t figure out the root of it all and sadly, even the “finish line.” It doesn’t seem to stop… It comes and it just, comes. And doesn’t go. It’s like you’re walking inside a tunnel without an end, without a light.

The emotions during depression were real, and valid. But that doesn’t mean they’re in accordance with reality. Most of the times it’s the demons in your head that’s causing it, this is why you have to constantly fight it. Until you get the victory over it.

Of course, not only I was a victim of circumstances I want nothing to do with, I was a victim of my own choices as well… I’m not only blaming the devil for it. The influences and environment I let into my life, plus these dark and destructive thoughts… Ahh I tell you, that’s the perfect recipe for disaster. I lived moments of my life cursing people around me (like my parents, which is NOT OKAY at all), being angry at them and myself, rebelling against God, etc… I even tried stuff we all shouldn’t, and cut myself regularly because it felt so good (which is another harmful habit)… THAT IS MESSED UP. THAT WAS NOT GOOD AT ALL! It was just so ugly, disgusting, depressing—the things I did and said and thought. I’ve sat in my room alone, and literally told God while crying heavily, “I, I hate you…” Because I felt like God was not coming for me, coming to get me out of my misery. I ended up in that scenario more than once. I remember telling God “You are in control of it all and you wrote this shitty story of my life??? How could you let this happen to me?” And yes, crying heavily still.

Yes, you would assume that since I have depression I had bad days—but I definitely had THE WORST days. Magkakasunod pa. Like that prodigal son in the famous story, I felt like I was laying in the filth of pigs. Just being honest, I had moments wherein I’m stuck and wallowing in a bunch of crap. Where life took a huge dump on me… I mean, this was rock bottom for me.

I remember those moments wherein I’m all alone, with my own thoughts, and when the enemy uses those moments like he turns your bedroom, your room, your dark space in an “Interrogation Scene” (just like in the movies). He starts to question you. He starts to remind you of your fears, of your worries, of your anxieties. He wants to pull out all the failures and fallings. “You’re not good enough, you can’t do this, look at you, how can you matter, how can you be a leader?”

The issue with this scenario is that too many of us are having too much conversation with the enemy, who holds no power over you and is a defeated loser! Yes he pesters you, he tempts you, he bothers you, but it does not mean that you need to open up your mouth and talk to him—the best thing you can do is open your mouth ONLY TO PRAISE JESUS, COMMUNICATE WITH JESUS, AND READ THE WORD OF GOD ALOUD. It’s what Jesus Himself did when He was being accused by the enemy.

I will finish this post somewhere here but I hope I find the time to continue because I know it’s a little more complicated than this and it doesn’t end here…

I’d love for us to talk about practical, useful tips to actually overcome depression.

Also, I share this to the world so that even the people who weren’t able to hear me talk in person can see how life-changing the love of Jesus is. I felt astray and now He took me back to His amazing family. It can happen to anyone—to your friend and to YOU, too!

FYI lang especially for Christians (and for those people who want to change): You gotta know AND you have to understand that you’re underattack, CONSTANTLY.

Stop being a victim today and ask God instead for wisdom so we won’t have to do stupid and meaningless things and BE SMARTER and in facing the enemy’s lies and tactics…

I know that God didn’t make me make poor choices. He didn’t make me do things that led me to that hell. Now I thank God for it, because if it wasn’t for them, I wouldn’t be here, in this better script, better story, better season of my life, right now.

What was meant to destroy me,
God used them to redeem me.
And bring me back Home…

Thank You Jesus. I love you so much.

Talk to you soon guys! x

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Beth Hoffman

01/07/2018 § Leave a comment

Sometimes it’s not what we hold on to that shapes our lives–it’s what we’re willing to let go of.”
—Beth Hoffman, Looking for Me

 

Eliezer Yudkowsky

01/07/2018 § Leave a comment

“You are personally responsible for becoming more ethical than the society you grew up in.”

Dear (Very) Young Women

01/07/2018 § Leave a comment

This is simply an observation—but the reality nonetheless.

I want to fight back the “instinct culture” of female species (and you will know what I’m talking about) through this comment/response:

Honestly the best piece of advice I can give to younger girls trying to figure life out is to completely ignore men. Don’t prioritize them.

I’m not being quirky or cute or a rebel or a feminist when I say that. I mean it seriously. Ignore men’s judgments of you, ignore their insincere compliments, ignore their half-assed romance. Focus on developing yourself. Practice your art, volunteer, play sports, do theater, spend time with your friends, serve the less-fortunate, add value to your family members, but do not put substantial effort into pleasing men—those breed belonging to our opposite gender.

They’ll be there for you to pursue when the time comes and if you want to… But seriously, hear me out: nothing will waste your youth more than chasing for male acceptance.

Tim Chester

01/07/2018 § Leave a comment

“Jesus doesn’t fit in our world. He breaks down our categories. He bursts our expectations. His actions do not fit the laws and expectations of this world. To judge them by the standards of this world is a category mistake. To judge them by your experience is to miss the point. They don’t belong in this world because they give us a glimpse of another world. Jesus’s coming was the start of a new world. His actions were a sign of God’s coming world.”

—Tim Chester, A Meal With Jesus

Chris Tomlin

01/07/2018 § Leave a comment

“Worship isn’t a feeling you wait for. It is a choice you make.”

Oscar Wilde

01/07/2018 § Leave a comment

“Never love someone who treats you like ordinary.”

Oswald Chambers

01/01/2018 § Leave a comment

“We tend to use prayer as a last resort, but God wants it to be our first line of defense. We pray when there’s nothing else we can do, but God wants us to pray before we do anything at all.”

Growing up, two of the devotionals I’ve had are written by him. Good stuff.

#2018Ready

01/01/2018 § Leave a comment

2018 calls for more traveling, checking off the rest of my bucket list, exploring the world (mostly my beloved country), more moments of love (for family, friends, other people), more saying yes to the call & directions of God, and less giving into fear. #aliveness • Honestly deep down inside, I don’t want to let go of 2017 yet bcos it was nothing but pure growth & remarkable experiences. It was a beautiful year—full of memories, challenges, lessons, enjoyment, more adulting & harder decisions! • These were the photos I chose to finally post at the last day of 2017: More than 3 years ago I arrived in here not knowing what to expect but His grace. No relatives, no residence, no acquaintances, no assurance, not much money or stuff, no familiarity whatsoever (other than the great people and famous waves of La Union)… I LOVED THE IDEA. I wanted to be a missionary & do it outside of my city. Waaay outside. But little did I know that God had other plans. And oh boy they’re much, much BETTER. Obviously, He wanted me to be in a different kind of mission field—in the government, to the whole Calamba City, for three years. God used this time & season so that years later, I can look back & not regret trusting Him forever everyday. All I’m saying is tonight, I want to remind not only myself but all of us to not doubt the ability of God to prepare, plan, and propose bigger, greater, better & higher purposes for you and I. Especially in 2018. The habit of actively trusting God is not a waste of time and energy. • Now, as I end this write-up… As the new year arrives, I thought not only about what I wanted to do more of, but what I could change (more). 2018 will be a year of prayer. It will be a year where I put my trust, my hope, my confidence in God more. Praying is relying. Your heart kneeling to Him is your heart to clinging to Him. My life bowing to Him is my life believing in Him. • And so? Relax. If God wanted to get you at a certain place that you think you need to be in right now, then you would already be there. Don’t allow yourself to stress or rush. Be at peace. God knows what’s best and when it’s best. Be humble and trust His process. Happy new year! #2018Ready

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Simple Ways To Improve Your Life

12/30/2017 § Leave a comment

Goals: To improve. To grow. To mature. To get better.
If that’s yours too, then here are some things to consider as the new year arrives!

Make your bed to immediately make your room look more put together.
Water first, then coffee or tea.
Pray and/or meditate the Bible, even just for fifteen minutes, to set the tone for your day.
Listen to feel-good music while doing your daily activities—commuting, cleaning, cooking, exercising.
Smile at at least five people everyday.
Eat food that makes you feel radiant.
C
all or message someone you love regularly.
Make lists of things you need to accomplish for the day.
Stretch for five minutes.
Wear something that doesn’t only look nice and presentable, but feel comfortable.
B
rowse the news/headlines/articles that interest you.
Have some “me-time” once in a while. Recharge.

Write or 
record in your phone the positive thoughts you have so you can remember them afterwards.
Take a hot shower or bath at the end of a stressful day.
Sleep pants-less. :)
Think about things you’re grateful for at the end of each day.

Always make God your first priority.
Let Him be the center of your life.
Trust Him about everything.

 

 

 

 

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  • I N T O T H E W O R L D //
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    Hi, I am Cha Hernandez

    life-learner, wayfarer, and Jesus' girlfriend

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